Life is so ridiculous some days. Lauren picked up Aiden and I today, we went to Starbucks and to look at Broadway Shoes. Later on Alex and I decide to go to Applebees for late night deliciousness and I ask Lauren if she wants to to, she does, so we met her there. I can’t express how thankful I am she lives here now. I’ve lived here almost a year and I haven’t made any friends because I never go out in social situations. I’m a mother so it’s not like I’m a typical 22 year old. Now that she’s here I have somewhere to go when things are rough between Alex and I or just when I need someone to talk to. Someone to shopping with.
Tonight she and I were talking about how selfish our parents can be. Her parents are divorced and mine mindswell be. I haven’t lived with my parents since I was nine years old. My mom and I have this relationship now where we are best friends. Really, that’s how we always have been. She texts me everyday and we both complain about our sons (my younger brother just turned 13), or our husbands. My father and I have never had a relationship. He loves my son but he never talks to me. It’s all so fucking weird.
My mom was an alcoholic bulimic when I was young. My dad was in my eyes the perfect one. My parents were 15 and 18 when I was born and they weren’t ready at all. When Justin was born they were 18 and 21. Still not ready. But we had each other. My dad didn’t drink and he played video games with Justin and I all the time.
I remember the last night I was there. My mom was drunk and they were fighting. My dad punched a hole in the wall and everyone was screaming. It’s a huge fucking blur. I just remember so clearly when my mom yelled to me down the stairs
call Nini and ask her if you can stay there for a while.
god I was so fucking relived. I ran and called right away and that night I was saved. My Nini and pap raised me from that day on. Before that they had me every weekend and I’d cry like hell when they brought me home on Sunday.
So thankful for them.
But anyway, I strive to give Aiden everything I never got as a young child and I will fight like hell to make sure he has the best of everything.
